It is what it is

Today, I OFFICIALLY finished my 6 rounds of chemo with a short treatment of a single drug.  I have a CT scan on the 29th and get my results from that on Nov 5th. That week will be the longest week ever.  I don't know what to think about what the CT will show.  I don't feel like I have cancer in my lungs, abdomen or sacrum.  I don't have pain (although that may be masked by pain medication still).  My hair has started to grow back.  I'd like to be optimistic about what the CT will show but at the same time I felt 100% when they told me it was back and had spread.  So, on that note, I say that it is what it is and I have to wait and see what it shows to discuss what happens next.

I feel good and have been able to lower my dilaudid on a regular basis and am now down to 18 mgs per day as opposed to the 48 mgs I started with.  I still don't sleep well but it is definitely better than it was a few months ago.  Last week I didn't sleep for 4 nights in a row.  I was so exhausted, needless to say, and my mom looked up the chemo drug I had received last Tuesday and again today and one of the side effects was sleeplessness.  I took a sleeping pill and slept well one night but was up the next after 3 hours... even after having taken the sleeping pill.

I came home today to a lovely letter from my insurance company.   I was able to fall back on my previous claim from May 2011 when I was originally diagnosed (yay- lucky me, right?).  I was congratulated the first time I was approved for long-term disability (LTD).  Yes, thank you- I have cancer.   Today's letter stated that my benefits will run out on Christmas Eve (Merry Christmas to me), unless I provide about an Encyclopedia worth of information from my doctor stating why I cannot perform my tasks (in detail) as a Correctional Officer- LOL.  Seriously?! I have to ask my manager when my job title changed... not even close to my job title.  Anyway, a little background on my frustration with my insurance company:

I received a letter from my case rep in July asking for a phone update on my case.  I was wondering why she wouldn't call me or email me, they have both of those contacts and my case rep has emailed me numerous times before.  A few weeks later I received another letter stating they have called me and no answer and I need to contact their office.  The phone number they had for me was off by a number- clearly a typo on their part.  My case rep had her phone number and her email at the bottom of the letter.  I am still curious as to why she hasn't emailed me if she is having trouble contacting me and it's that important.  I dial the toll-free number at the bottom of the letter and it is "no longer in service".  I decide to email my case rep.  I asked why she had not tried to reach me via email and how my number had gotten confused as they have had it for 2.5 years now... So, off goes my email.  Next time I look at my phone I have new emails so I check my inbox and one of them is from my case rep- an out of office message.  She is out of office from Aug 23-end of Dec.  The letter she sent me was dated Aug 22nd.  Why had she not given me the name of the rep who would be taking care of my case or stated her absence in her letter.

I call the general number and speak to a guy for about 45 mins and he updated my phone numbers and put a note on my account for my new case rep to call me within the next week.  I don't hear anything again.  Until today.  The letter stated they have tried to reach me on such and such a date and no response and my benefits will run out and they need this and that from my doctor(s) for my benefits to continue.  I call the insurance company AGAIN tonight.  Needless to say I am fuming at this point.  This is not my problem they cannot get their sh*t together.

I don't need the additional stress of dealing with them and completing paperwork that is a lot worse than a passport application!!  If they need to know something from my doctors then CALL THEM! They have all of their numbers.

The best part was my job title today- Correctional Officer- maybe I was promoted because I CORRECT them a million and one times!!  The letter was cc'd to the compensation advisor at Head Office.  I hope she gets a good laugh as that position doesn't exist within our Agency.

That is my rant of the day.

In lighter news, I lost all the weight I had gained and was able to put jeans on no problem the other day. You don't realize how free you feel in yoga and sweat pants until you put on your skinny jeans. Regardless, it felt good to get out of yoga pants for once!

I have been kitting up a storm again lately, reading a ton of books (I'm on a first name basis with a couple of cashiers at Chapter's), and walking a lot in the woodlot with the dog.  He loves it even though he usually needs a bath afterwards (which he hates).

Over and out,

Laura
Correctional Officer